The End of the School Year! Always a big day for children, with wild plans already forming from the Easter holidays onward. Who's sleeping over at whose house? Parents queued up to enroll their children in (sports) camps. And pool refreshments were professionally installed.
No, this year was REALLY not easy.
What a year Ella-Marie has had! It was her first full year of "real school," after the hospital school in Pulderbos initially helped her following surgery.
Fueled by incredible motivation, she began her final year of primary school. Ella-Marie was convinced she could learn better now-no medication, no epileptic seizures, and better sleep laid a solid foundation for cognitive progress. For the first time, she was welcomed by a male teacher. Quite exciting, but he soon proved to be just as caring as the others.
Unfortunately, it was the children who truly made things difficult for Ella-Marie this year. Several times a week, she came home utterly frustrated and in tears. She was genuinely bullied-her vulnerability was exploited for mockery. Some cruel examples: mimicking her unsteady walk, calling her a "dirty handicapped" and threatening to "finish her off with a knife." Sneaking up on her left side (which she can't see) and pushing her. Cutting her out of the class photo because "she doesn't belong"… The list goes on, and you can imagine how hard it was. It was a year filled with Ella-Marie questioning why she bothered, declaring that she hated life and wanted everything to stop. A year that couldn't end fast enough.
Please, love me
After those often emotional outbursts came calmer moments. Her need for love remains enormous. Ella-Marie frequently seeks out adults for heart-to-heart chats and physical cuddles. She longs for peace-like sitting on the garden terrace with her dog Demi, drawing beautiful pictures, or scrolling her phone in peace.
On the school front, we're incredibly grateful she attended IMG. The principal, care team, and teachers were deeply involved. Bullies were addressed as best as possible, but more importantly, they prioritized a positive approach for Ella-Marie. During recess, she was allowed to return to class early with her only school friend, Jolien. Even the kindergarten teachers thought along and offered her a chance to help in their class a few hours a week-which she absolutely loved! Why she loved that so much is explained further in the blog.
Ranya and Jolien are her two close friends. Sadly, Ranya had to move, so they see each other less. Jolien still lives in the picturesque Heist-op-den-Berg and chats daily with Ella-Marie. Like typical teenage girls, they laugh, dance, and talk A LOT. That need for someone she feels safe with is huge. Unfortunately, Jolien will also transfer to a different school, so next year's move to secondary school will be a big step into the unknown for Ella-Marie.
A Safe Haven
Her close circle is always there for her-grandmothers (and bonus-grandmas) to talk to, grandfathers who love to make her laugh. At home, she can always be herself, because love is unconditional… unless you accidentally eat Olivia's last candy-then it's war. Sisterly love, right? They can't be without each other, except between 4:00 and 4:05 p.m., when they swear they'll "hate each other forever." But it's clear they need each other deeply.
At bedtime, there's always the same routine: teeth brushing (Ella-Marie has braces now), then a cozy cuddle in bed. What follows is often a flood of questions: "Why am I being bullied? Will I have friends? Will I ever walk better? …" We can't always answer, but to the most important question-"Do you still love me?"-we can, with all our hearts, say "YES."
Graduation Ceremony
Thanks to her safe environment and the support of teachers, friends, and family, Ella-Marie got to celebrate her graduation on Wednesday, June 25th. A year later than her peers, as special education includes an extra year to prepare children for secondary school.
She recorded TikTok dance videos with her class, which were played during the ceremony. With a huge mix of melancholy and pride, we watched our daughter have her "moment of glory." With tears in our eyes-one of sadness, one of joy. That bittersweet feeling, perfectly captured by the movie Inside Out.
Intrinsic Motivation
With diploma in hand, Ella-Marie will begin the first year of "Basic Logistic Maintenance" at the Special Secondary School Institute Mevrouw Govaerts in September. After a very pleasant chat with the school's director, we're more convinced than ever that this is the right fit for her.
Her intrinsic drive to help young children or the elderly is enormous. Our goal is to help her build a strong self-esteem-whether as a teaching assistant, helping out in a care home with activities, or something entirely different.
One thing is certain: starting September 1st, Ella-Marie will do everything she can to keep learning, make new friends, and find joy again.
